Book Review: I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O’Farrell

How many brushes with death does an average person have? Maggie O’Farrell has had 17 so far. As far as I know, she is still in her 40s, so that seems a bit excessive. And that is one of the problems, I had with this book. Structuring her memoir around these brushes with death is an original idea, which to a large extent works well. But the 17 chapters are quite uneven, with some of them appearing pointless and forgettable. One might suspect, certain chapters have been added as fillers. At six hours, the audiobook is very short as it is.

Whilst reading, I couldn’t help wondering about O’Farrell’s recklessness. The third (third!!!) time, she had a near drowning experience, this time together with her small son, who couldn’t swim, I was starting to roll my eyes. Ok, I might have done a few reckless things myself. But causing danger to other people, not at least your own children, is a very different matter. Besides from the three near-drowning experiences, her brushes with death are relatively diverse. Every reader can probably find one or more chapters, which touches them deeply.

An unusual trait of I Am, I Am, I Am is the degree of non-linearity. We constantly jump back and forth in O’Farrell’s life and a defining moment, which took place in her childhood, is included in one of the last chapters. At first, that seemed strange. But actually I liked the idea, because it made me think back and see some of the previous chapters in a new light. Amongst other things, I came to understand her recklessness in life much better.

“I swam in dangerous waters, both metaphorically and literally. It was not so much that I didn’t value my existence but more that I had an insatiable desire to push myself to embrace all that it could offer.” 

Author of I Am, I Am, I Am

The writing varies throughout. Some chapters are told in first person, others in third person. I suppose it signifies that she doesn’t feel like the same person anymore, when writing in third person. Also she jumps back and forth between present and past tense. Without doubt O’Farrell is a master in the art of writing. But perhaps the linguistic artistry might have been a tiny bit overdone?

A recurring theme, which I really enjoyed, was O’Farrell’s restlessness and her urge to get out there and explore. I recognised that from myself. It was whilst living in Hong Kong, O’Farrell started to write and I can easily see why. Exploring foreign countries provides so much inspiration and of course:

“Foreign experiences increase both cognitive flexibility and depth and integrativeness of thought” 

The last two chapters were perhaps the strongest of them all and I was left breathless. If the rest of the book had been on par with those chapters, five stars would have been justified. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case. Still, I did find I Am, I Am, I Am original and I’m glad, I got a taste of O’Farrell’s excellent writing.

Rating: 3 out of 5.
Title: I Am, I Am, I Am [2017]
Author: Maggie O'Farrell
Format: Audiobook, narrated by Daisy Donovan 
Genre: Memoir

36 comments

  1. I felt very similarly about this one. I loved the concept and some chapters were excellent, but too many of them felt tenuously linked to the central theme.

    • Exactly my thoughts. Which is a shame, because some the good chapters were seriously good. Perhaps, it would have better to concentrate the book about fewer events.

  2. Blimey. 17 near death experiences! Sounds like she must have a share of someone else’s in there as well. Sounds like a bit of a mixed read/listen. Great review as always!

    • That is pretty extreme, isn’t it? I don’t want to give any “spoilers” (can you talk about spoilers in nonfiction?) but there is a strong reason behind her behaviour, which may sometimes come across as reckless. Thanks! 😀

  3. Thanks for the review; I had intended to read this as I’m a fan of Maggie O’Farrell’s; I don’t think I will now. I loved Hamnet, and This Must be the Place.

    • I haven’t read Hamnet, but I could imagine her novels work better than this memoir. It wasn’t a bad book, by any standards, but it didn’t live up to my expectations.

    • Thanks Darlene, I don’t want to discourage you from reading the book, but there are definitely stronger memoirs out there.

    • Yes, they were incredibly powerful. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a daughter with that condition. Just reading about it made me feel anxious and desperate.

    • Her most famous novel is Hamnet, which is about Shakespeare’s family and the death of his son. I haven’t read it, so unfortunately, I can’t give you any recommendation.

  4. This is an unusual book but I loved it, having had my own near-death experience I really identified. Yes, the stories are uneven, but I found most of them excellent. As long as readers aren’t expecting it to be like her novels, I definitely recommend it.

    • Very unusual! Sorry to hear, you had a near-death experience. I guess that would make you relate to the book in a different way. I did overall enjoy it, but thought it might have benefitted from cutting out a few chapters and perhaps elaborating more on some of the stronger ones.

  5. That last chapter… I cried the whole way through reading it… OMG… such a sad but uplifting book! (And I never thought I’d read non-fiction and cry like a baby.)

    • The last chapter was difficult to read. I felt so much anxiety and desperation whilst reading. And I loved the way she finished it. Despite of it all, it certainly was an uplifting book.

    • Thanks! 😀 Yes, it left a strong impression, because the last chapters were so impactful. I’d say it was worth reading, just because of those.

  6. I loved this book! Not a fan of her novels but her writing style is beautiful. OK the ‘brushes with death’ concept is a bit contrived but I didn’t mind.

    • That is interesting! I haven’t really felt the urge to read Hamnet, despite of all the praise it has got. But now I think, I might give it a try at some point. I certainly enjoyed her writing.

      • I’m not especially eager to read Hamnet but if I find it at the library I will give it a go. I wonder if her style works better for me when it’s non fiction – in which case, I hope she writes more of it! 🙂

        • Actually, I read this one to see how I got on with her writing style. I would definitely be curious to read other nonfiction books by her (in case she should write some).

    • Thanks! Yes, it certainly isn’t the strongest memoir out there, although it wasn’t bad either.

  7. Great review as always! And damn, 17 brushes with death… It’s hard to imagine that’s actually not fiction. She leads a more exciting life than me, that’s for sure 😆

    • Thanks! I know, that is exactly what I thought. She has definitely lived a more exciting live than me. Not that I am complaining, I wouldn’t be keen on having 17 brushed with death!

        • I guess her brushes with death, especially the one in her childhood, made her appetite for life even stronger. But yeah, way too stressful! 🙂

  8. One of the best reviews I’ve read on this book! What a crazy life she led! And to have all of that written down in a book must have been darn challenging. Judging from your review, I doubt I’ll be reading this, especially now that I’m looking for a really fantastic, brilliant book! 😀

    • Thanks Jee! 😊 Yes, she certainly had her fair share of adventure! This wasn’t amongst the best memoirs, I’ve read, so I understand if you’ll skip it. I hope you will find this really fantastic, brilliant book soon!

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